doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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