wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
