I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
