my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
