I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
