He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize