Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
