You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
