Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You made out with two different species that night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
