she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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