i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need water and some morals
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize