a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
