You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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