Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
