You work out of a Hotel?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
