in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
