Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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