As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
