If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
