If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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