Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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