I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
