vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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