Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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