i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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