youre lurking in front of me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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