My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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