ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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