I cannot find my penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
