i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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