i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
