Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize