you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
