Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
