A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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