Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
