We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
