My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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