That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
