Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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