If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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