We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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