He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
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Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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