She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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