Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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