she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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