hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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