is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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