R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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