i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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