where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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