i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well, you know. whores of a feather.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize