My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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