on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
COCAINE IS GR8
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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