I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
