I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
