I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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