chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
