so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
