i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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